[000:00:11;979] NARRATOR:
[000:00:11;979] Ah... the Bikini Bottom Zoo
[000:00:11;979] is having its annual free day.
[000:00:17;651] Free balloons...
[000:00:20;921] free drinks...
[000:00:23;389] free light bulbs?
[000:00:25;592] Aha!
[000:00:27;227] Top 'o the mornin', boys!
[000:00:28;962] ( laughs nervously )
[000:00:30;230] Whew! Next stop.. gift shop.
[000:00:34;134] There it is--
[000:00:34;134] Oyster Stadium.
[000:00:36;637] Not only do they have
[000:00:38;204] the largest oyster
[000:00:38;204] held in captivity
[000:00:40;807] it also does tricks.
[000:00:42;442] ( dramatic voice ):
[000:00:42;442] He spits a giant pearl
[000:00:45;012] 100 feet in the air
[000:00:46;346] like a cannon ball!
[000:00:53;020] Why are we hanging around
[000:00:53;020] watching a cheap imitation?!
[000:00:56;089] Let's get over there!
[000:00:58;058] BOTH:
[000:00:58;058] This is the greatest day
[000:00:58;058] of our lives!
[000:01:03;496] ( snoring and gurgling )
[000:01:09;202] This is the greatest
[000:01:09;202] day of our lives?
[000:01:12;205] Boring.
[000:01:16;609] You're right, Patrick,
[000:01:16;609] we came to see...
[000:01:18;979] pearls 100 feet in the air!
[000:01:18;979] Right?
[000:01:21;648] I'll try my oyster call.
[000:01:23;984] ( gibbering and trilling )
[000:01:32;926] Well, I'm outta here.
[000:01:34;294] Thanks for nothin',
[000:01:34;294] SpongeBob.
[000:01:36;229] ( snoring and gurgling )
[000:01:38;331] Come on, come on,
[000:01:38;331] wake up already!
[000:01:46;707] ( grunts )
[000:01:49;843] ( gurgling )
[000:01:50;977] I think it's working!
[000:01:52;278] ( gurgling )
[000:01:53;446] ( grunting anxiously )
[000:01:54;614] Hey, Patrick, it's waking up!
[000:01:56;683] Oh boy, did I miss it?
[000:01:58;685] No, the show's
[000:01:58;685] about to begin...
[000:02:00;821] ( whimpering )
[000:02:02;455] ( wailing loudly )
[000:02:06;827] What's wrong
[000:02:06;827] with Clamu?
[000:02:09;262] ( wailing )
[000:02:10;764] Easy, girl, it's me,
[000:02:10;764] Joe, remember?
[000:02:13;800] ( snarling )
[000:02:17;237] ( screaming )
[000:02:19;840] Now, this is a show!
[000:02:22;209] MAN ( on p.a. ):
[000:02:22;209] Attention, zoo patrons.
[000:02:24;077] Clamu The Giant Oyster
[000:02:24;077] is on an emotional rampage!
[000:02:27;413] Please scream and
[000:02:27;413] run around in circles.
[000:02:30;016] ( all scream )
[000:02:31;484] Thanks for coming.
[000:02:33;153] ( snarling and wailing )
[000:02:35;521] You boys better get
[000:02:35;521] out of this area, pronto!
[000:02:38;024] There's nothing
[000:02:38;024] more dangerous
[000:02:39;692] than an emotionally
[000:02:39;692] disturbed oyster.
[000:02:41;762] You didn't do anything
[000:02:43;396] that might have caused
[000:02:43;396] this tragedy, did you?
[000:02:45;632] Uh...
[000:02:47;100] No way! Only a jerk
[000:02:47;100] would upset a gentle giant.
[000:02:51;004] Right, SpongeBob?
[000:02:53;306] Right.
[000:02:54;707] ( wailing )
[000:02:58;211] PATRICK:
[000:02:58;211] Man, if I ever see
[000:02:58;211] the guy who upset Clamu
[000:03:01;681] I'd have a few choice words
[000:03:01;681] for him, like...
[000:03:04;818] "you"... and... "are"...
[000:03:04;818] and... "a jerk!"
[000:03:09;856] Are you sure you didn't see
[000:03:09;856] anything suspicious?
[000:03:12;859] I already said I didn't,
[000:03:12;859] Patrick, sheesh!
[000:03:15;896] Hey, lets investigate
[000:03:15;896] this crime
[000:03:18;165] and catch the lowlife
[000:03:18;165] who's responsible.
[000:03:20;500] Give it a rest, Patrick!
[000:03:22;302] There's no crime
[000:03:22;302] to investigate.
[000:03:24;504] Now go home!
[000:03:27;974] Stupid Patrick...
[000:03:27;974] I didn't do anything wrong!
[000:03:32;512] Aw, what am I getting
[000:03:32;512] so worked up about?
[000:03:34;614] I'm sure that by tomorrow
[000:03:36;549] this whole ugly mess
[000:03:36;549] will be a funny memory.
[000:03:36;549] ( chuckles )
[000:03:39;319] Our top story
[000:03:39;319] tonight:
[000:03:40;854] giant oyster has
[000:03:40;854] its feelings hurt!
[000:03:43;489] The only clue
[000:03:43;489] that could be found
[000:03:45;425] was this lone peanut!
[000:03:47;027] And as you can hear,
[000:03:47;027] the oyster continues
[000:03:50;130] to emit its horrible cry
[000:03:52;398] A cry so powerful, it can
[000:03:52;398] be heard around the world
[000:03:56;169] A cry that not only
[000:03:56;169] breaks the sound barrier
[000:03:59;572] it breaks the hearts
[000:03:59;572] of our citizens!
[000:04:02;475] What kind of cruel,
[000:04:02;475] careless, evil person
[000:04:06;947] would deliberately upset one of
[000:04:06;947] Neptune's most gentle creatures?
[000:04:12;618] ( meows )
[000:04:13;553] Aah!
[000:04:15;088] No, Gary! How would I know
[000:04:15;088] anything about the oyster?
[000:04:18;058] ( meows )
[000:04:19;125] Defensive? I'm not
[000:04:19;125] being defensive!
[000:04:20;927] Barnacles! What is this,
[000:04:20;927] 20 questions or something?
[000:04:23;529] ( Clamu wailing )
[000:04:25;932] This is getting
[000:04:25;932] a little out of hand.
[000:04:27;934] All I did was throw a peanut.
[000:04:29;635] I didn't mean
[000:04:29;635] to make the oyster cry!
[000:04:31;704] I just wanted to see it
[000:04:31;704] perform spectacular stunts!
[000:04:34;507] Aw, everyone's going to hate me!
[000:04:37;244] I, I need some advice.
[000:04:39;512] Now, let's see now...
[000:04:40;847] who could never hate me
[000:04:40;847] no matter what I do?
[000:04:44;351] Squidward!
[000:04:45;218] Squidward! Oh Squidward!
[000:04:48;355] SpongeBob! Do you have
[000:04:48;355] to knock so loudly?
[000:04:51;958] Sorry, neighbor!
[000:04:53;059] Oh... that
[000:04:53;059] overgrown clam
[000:04:54;761] is giving me
[000:04:54;761] a headache!
[000:04:56;462] I can't even take
[000:04:56;462] my afternoon
[000:04:56;462] beauty nap!
[000:04:59;299] ( laughs nervously )
[000:05:00;600] Funny thing you should
[000:05:00;600] mention that old oyster
[000:05:02;969] Because I... uh...
[000:05:02;969] was kind wondering, um...
[000:05:07;207] Let's say I know this guy
[000:05:09;709] who may have something
[000:05:09;709] to do with the oyster.
[000:05:13;846] You know the guy who did it?!
[000:05:15;615] ( gulps )
[000:05:16;449] Oh, this is great!
[000:05:17;650] You and I can go
[000:05:17;650] turn him in!
[000:05:19;552] And then I'll get so much sleep,
[000:05:19;552] I'll be gorgeous!
[000:05:22;722] Um, actually, I...
[000:05:22;722] I'm just talking hypothetically.
[000:05:25;325] You don't
[000:05:25;325] know who did it?
[000:05:26;559] Well, um, I, uh, no!
[000:05:30;530] Squidward?
[000:05:31;998] Gotcha!
[000:05:32;999] Aah!
[000:05:34;200] Where were you
[000:05:34;200] on the day of today?
[000:05:36;202] Don't play games
[000:05:36;202] with me, mister!
[000:05:38;138] Hey, Patrick,
[000:05:38;138] what are you doing?
[000:05:39;639] Oh hi, SpongeBob!
[000:05:40;840] I'm just continuing
[000:05:40;840] my investigation
[000:05:43;176] of the great Clamu Caper!
[000:05:44;911] Um... have you found out
[000:05:44;911] anything?
[000:05:47;647] Yes!
[000:05:48;815] No, wait... um... no.
[000:05:51;818] But this grain of sand
[000:05:51;818] looks pretty suspicious
[000:05:55;288] and so does this rock!
[000:05:57;390] And I've got a few questions
[000:05:57;390] for this little piece of grass!
[000:06:00;893] Don't worry, SpongeBob,
[000:06:00;893] Patrick's on the case!
[000:06:04;664] The truth will be
[000:06:04;664] revealed!
[000:06:07;733] I'd better go see Sandy,
[000:06:07;733] she'll know what to do!
[000:06:10;403] ( Clamu wailing )
[000:06:10;403] Ohh, I can't stand it anymore!
[000:06:13;940] That poor,
[000:06:13;940] poor critter!
[000:06:15;608] What kind of
[000:06:15;608] inconsiderate person
[000:06:17;944] would upset
[000:06:17;944] such a gentle creature?
[000:06:20;513] Uh, that's kind of what I
[000:06:20;513] wanted to talk to you about...
[000:06:23;149] Why, when I find out who caused
[000:06:23;149] that oyster so much pain
[000:06:27;787] No more jiggery pokery!
[000:06:30;857] ( grunting )
[000:06:32;625] Now, what was it you wanted
[000:06:32;625] to talk about, SpongeBob?
[000:06:35;761] ( gibbering )
[000:06:37;230] Hey, SpongeBob, how come
[000:06:37;230] you're all twitchy like that?
[000:06:41;567] Twitchy? Twitchy?
[000:06:41;567] Who's twitchy?
[000:06:44;037] I'm not twitchy!
[000:06:45;438] Sorry, Sandy,
[000:06:45;438] I have to um, um...
[000:06:48;274] go get my hair cut.
[000:06:49;642] SpongeBob doesn't have hair...
[000:06:53;079] or does he?
[000:06:55;115] ( panting and whimpering )
[000:07:00;453] Hey, SpongeBob!
[000:07:03;523] This is it!
[000:07:05;358] All of the clues
[000:07:05;358] are coming together!
[000:07:08;028] I followed these footprints
[000:07:08;028] right to this exact spot
[000:07:11;931] and then, right
[000:07:11;931] where you're standing...
[000:07:14;267] I found this bag
[000:07:14;267] of peanuts! Ha!
[000:07:17;270] Oh, I'm so close
[000:07:17;270] to solving this crime
[000:07:20;706] I can almost taste it!
[000:07:24;110] Mmm...
[000:07:25;745] Boy, crime-fighting
[000:07:25;745] sure makes me hungry
[000:07:28;581] and this
[000:07:28;581] yellow popsicle
[000:07:28;581] hits the spot!
[000:07:31;217] Okay, uh, good luck
[000:07:31;217] with all that, Patrick
[000:07:33;353] and, uh...
[000:07:33;353] I'll see you later!
[000:07:35;588] ( chattering and whimpering )
[000:07:37;257] MAN:
[000:07:37;257] Open up!
[000:07:37;257] This is the police!
[000:07:39;259] Uh, uh, just a second!
[000:07:42;028] Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
[000:07:44;097] Y-y-yes?
[000:07:45;298] Put those eyeballs
[000:07:45;298] back in your head, son.
[000:07:47;400] We've got a few
[000:07:47;400] questions for you.
[000:07:51;637] Were you at the zoo
[000:07:52;705] on the day of the
[000:07:52;705] oyster incident?
[000:07:54;307] Um, um, um, yes!
[000:07:56;943] Did you, or did you not
[000:07:56;943] take part
[000:07:58;611] in various activities
[000:07:58;611] of zoo-time merriment?
[000:08:00;713] Yes...
[000:08:02;048] And are you familiar with...
[000:08:02;048] this peanut?
[000:08:04;684] Yes!
[000:08:06;386] Just one more question...
[000:08:08;288] Is it true that you were
[000:08:08;288] at the oyster's lair
[000:08:12;024] with a Mr. Patrick Star?
[000:08:14;227] ( crying ):
[000:08:14;227] Yes! Yes! It's true!
[000:08:17;697] It's all true!
[000:08:19;365] The merriment,
[000:08:19;365] the peanut...
[000:08:22;469] the Patrick!
[000:08:23;869] That's all we need to know, son!
[000:08:26;038] Let's book him!
[000:08:28;741] Wow, you guys are good!
[000:08:30;443] I'm the last person
[000:08:30;443] I would have suspected
[000:08:33;580] but I was looking for me
[000:08:33;580] all the time!
[000:08:37;016] It's the perfect crime!
[000:08:38;418] Yeah, yeah, tell it
[000:08:38;418] to the judge, pinky!
[000:08:41;554] Oh no! Patrick's too sensitive
[000:08:41;554] for the big house!
[000:08:44;924] ( siren wailing )
[000:08:45;825] Wait, stop!
[000:08:47;893] I'm the one you want!
[000:08:50;230] I am the criminal!
[000:08:52;532] ( crowd yelling and booing )
[000:09:00;006] Hey, everybody, let's
[000:09:00;006] throw peanuts at him
[000:09:02;808] and see how he likes it!
[000:09:04;644] ( crowd yelling )
[000:09:06;879] I get what I deserve!
[000:09:09;115] ( gulping )
[000:09:12;519] Ouch!
[000:09:13;719] ( crowd booing )
[000:09:15;488] Wait!
[000:09:16;523] Hold your peanuts!
[000:09:17;723] Patrick Star is innocent!
[000:09:20;026] I have come here
[000:09:20;026] to reveal the truth!
[000:09:23;396] They say
[000:09:23;396] that truth and honesty
[000:09:25;097] will be rewarded
[000:09:25;097] with trust and forgiveness!
[000:09:27;634] ( humming
[000:09:27;634] dramatic theme )
[000:09:29;269] I'm here to lay my cards
[000:09:29;269] on the table
[000:09:31;571] to trim the branches
[000:09:31;571] of deception from
[000:09:31;571] the tree of life
[000:09:34;974] to shave away the unkempt
[000:09:34;974] sideburns from the face
[000:09:34;974] of truth! I...
[000:09:39;212] Hey! Just get on
[000:09:39;212] with it!
[000:09:42;014] I am the one
[000:09:42;014] who threw the peanut.
[000:09:44;651] I know now that what
[000:09:44;651] I have done is wrong...
[000:09:47;620] and so I say, I am sorry,
[000:09:47;620] giant performing oyster!
[000:09:51;558] I am sorry, Patrick.
[000:09:53;560] I am sorry,
[000:09:53;560] citizens of Bikini Bottom
[000:09:56;629] ( Patrick stops humming )
[000:09:58;130] Hey! Let's
[000:09:58;130] throw peanuts
[000:09:58;130] at both of 'em!
[000:10:02;101] ( crowd yelling )
[000:10:03;869] Wait! Here's the real criminal.
[000:10:07;106] Uh... top of the morning?
[000:10:10;042] Mr. Krabs!
[000:10:11;911] ( crowd gasps )
[000:10:13;213] I knew it!
[000:10:14;314] Mr. Krabs stole
[000:10:14;314] a very important item
[000:10:17;584] from the oyster!
[000:10:18;951] Behold...
[000:10:20;920] ( crowd groans in disgust )
[000:10:23;356] Wait a minute...
[000:10:24;857] Behold!
[000:10:26;192] The oyster's pearl!
[000:10:28;294] ( crowd gasps )
[000:10:29;962] Here you go, girl.
[000:10:33;866] ( sniffing )
[000:10:35;568] ( crowd cheering )
[000:10:41;741] ( crowd gasps )
[000:10:45;911] ( gurgling ):
[000:10:45;911] Mama! Mama!
[000:10:47;747] Mother of pearl!
[000:10:49;115] The oyster's a mother!
[000:10:51;016] And that pearl's no pearl.
[000:10:53;185] It's an egg!
[000:10:54;420] ( gurgling ):
[000:10:54;420] Mama! Mama!
[000:10:57;490] ( gurgling )
[000:11:00;326] ( both gurgling happily )
[000:11:02;795] ALL:
[000:11:02;795] Aw...
[000:11:06;999] But it's... free day!
[000:11:10;002] ( crowd yelling )